


Punch Out(Never bet against the Elf)

by sinandcakeinorlais



Series: Tumbling Towards Fenders: Works from Tumblr [1]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 21:03:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4364084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinandcakeinorlais/pseuds/sinandcakeinorlais
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a requested Tumblr prompt:<br/>Ridiculous writings prompts- "Why did I have to punch that guy?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Punch Out(Never bet against the Elf)

“Andraste’s ass, Fenris!”

Fenris glared down at the body, mere inches from his feet, his gauntlet covered fist still clinched tightly. Anders rushed to the fallen man’s side, frowning at the blood that began to ooze from the gash under the victim’s right eye and the vicious bruise that was already beginning to show.

“What in the Void is _wrong_ with you?” The mage shouted at the elf, not caring that he was drawing the attention of everyone in The Hanged Man. Fenris said nothing, only watched as Anders checked the man for a pulse. Isabela leaned back from the bar, laughing as she raised her mug of ale to the elf in approval.

“Nice hit, Fenris! That bugger will be out for at least a few hours!”

Anders sneered at her. “Stop encouraging him!” He turned back to Fenris, fury bellowing from his eyes. “That was _completely_ unnecessary, you blighted elf!”

Fenris matched the mage’s irritated stare. “Unnecessary? Do you think I would stand idly by while someone puts their hands on you?”

“What in blazes are you talking about?!” Anders exclaimed as more of the bar’s occupants paused to watch them. “I was having a delightful conversation with a dear friend of mine!” He pointed to the body on the floor. “Who, by the way, is now unconscious, no thanks to you!“

“Then there was no… groping involved?” Fenris asked, suddenly feeling confused.

“ _Groping_?” Anders repeated, the volume in his voice refusing to falter. “Unless I’ve become blissfully ignorant to human contact in the past hour, I believe I would know if someone was making advances at me!”

“But I was told that-”

“Honestly, Fenris!“ The mage interrupted, throwing his hands up. "After everything we had promised to each other, how could you even think that I would let that happen?”

“So, then why did I have to punch that man?” Fenris wondered out loud, still bewildered by the entire situation.

“That’s a _very_ good question, Fenris!” Anders declared sarcastically. “Maybe you should leave and think of an equally good answer!“ He then turned back to Isabela “You! Help me carry him upstairs to Varric’s room. I need to heal him.”

Isabela raised an eyebrow at the mage. “Why me? Why not make your elven boy-toy over there help you? He’s the one caused this mess!”

“And that’s exactly why he _isn’t_ helping me!” Anders carefully placed his hands under the unconscious man’s armpits and waited until Isabela had a good grip on the man’s legs before lifting him. “Fenris is going home to have a nice long chat with his jealousy issues!”

Leaving the puzzled elf behind, Anders and Isabela carried the man up the stairs, their voices echoing loudly across the bar.

“I can’t believe him! Groping? Really? Bloody elf and his sodding impulses…”

“Sounds like _someone_ won’t be getting any tonight. Am I right, Sparkles?”

“Oh, shut up!”

Tucked away in a dark corner table, Varric held out his hand, smiling as the weight of five sovereigns filled his hand.

“I told you he would do it, Hawke.” The dwarf chuckled, putting the coin purse away inside his coat.

“We are the worst kind of people. Manipulating our friends for betting purposes.” Hawke picked up his mug, pausing before taking a drink. "I feel like an ass.“

Varric let out a snort. “Only because you lost.”

Hawke pushed his lips together, forcing back a laugh. “No…okay, yes.”

“I feel bad too, Hawke, but I think we both learned a valuable lesson today.”

Hawke nodded his head. “That we did, my good man. Never get between an elf and his mage.”

“Speaking of the elf,” Varric jumped from his seat as Fenris slowly turned to them, his green eyes burning with rage.

“Our next lesson starts now, Varric.” Hawke also stood, suddenly pushing the dwarf out of his way and bolting for the door. “Exit the Hanged Man with your balls still attached!"

"Right behind you, Hawke!”

“HAWKE! VARRIC! GET BACK HERE NOW! I WILL NOT BE MADE OUT TO LOOK LIKE A FOOL!”


End file.
